


Butchery 101

by DJClawson



Series: Theodore Nelson's Adventures in Sharing a Workspace [7]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Closeted Character, Discussion of butchering animals, F/M, Homosexuality, M/M, Slurs in Yiddish, but the animals are already dead, veganism, vigilante boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 02:05:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17235284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DJClawson/pseuds/DJClawson
Summary: Matt just says he wants to learn how to cut up meat. Theo doesn't entirely believe him.





	Butchery 101

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Callistemon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callistemon/gifts).



> Thanks to Pogopop and LachesisMeg for their beta work.
> 
> This was a prompt from Callistemon. If you've got a prompt for this particular series that you would like me to try out, leave a comment about it below!
> 
> On an unrelated and more serious note, if you are are a religious Jew struggling with your sexuality, go to http://www.eshelonline.org/ for confidential support.

“Can you teach me about knives?”

Theo turned off the water in the sink and looked over his shoulder to make sure it was still Matt talking, and not some stranger. “Why do you want to know?”

“I just do.”

“Okay,” Theo said. “You use them to cut things. If the table’s been set correctly, you can find them on the right side of the plate.” He took the plate of chopped meat and poured it into Sadie’s bowl. “That should cover it.”

Matt sat up on the bed. “I need to know about them. How to use them.”

“To cut up a cow? Because a lot of it is hooks and bandsaws. More than you’d think.” He wiped his hands on the towel. “I thought Daredevil didn’t use weapons.”

“He has sticks sometimes. Mostly to block.”

“And now he wants to use butcher knives?”

“No. I just want to know about them. To defend against them.”

“You know the cows are already dead when I cut them up, right? I don’t think I could handle it if they fought back.”

Matt sighed and leaned against the headboard. G-d, he was cute. “The guy who taught me - he never taught me about knives. How to use them, how to avoid them, what they can do. I just thought some context would be helpful.” 

“I don’t know about carving up people. I don’t even want to think about it,” Theo admitted. “Look, if you just want an excuse to go to a slaughterhouse and punch a slab of beef like Rocky, that can be arranged.”

“I’m not going to carve up people. Knives are too dangerous.”

“I’m glad you think  _ something _ is too dangerous.” He climbed over Sadie, who hissed at him, and fell onto the bed next to Matt. “Look, I know you’re out there risking your life for people, but I don’t want to think about it too much.”

“Knowing more about cuts of beef wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world - for eating purposes,” Matt said, and Theo felt like he could almost believe it. “And while it’s not impossible, I don’t know anyone who would be so patient about teaching a blind guy. We could make it a date.”

“Is this your idea of a date? Going to a farm in upstate New York and feeling up animal parts?”

“You make it sound like a sleazy petting zoo.”

“I did. Gross.” Theo added, “Do you want to go on a date? Like a real date?”

“Do you?”

Theo didn’t know the answer to that question. “I asked first.”

“I could wine and dine you later. If that’s what you want. Or I could do it now - but there’d be no wine,” Matt said, and kissed him on his neck, and down his shoulder. “Or food.”

“I think I could handle that.”

  
  


“So, my boyfriend’s a weirdo.”

Theo was having a rare cigarette as his legs hung over the edge of the dirty pier. It was a good place to meet Grindr dates because it was an ugly, deserted place and one of the rare places in Manhattan where no one bothered you for smoking. He suspected Avi, the owner of the cigarette, suggested it with such specificity because he’d been there in the past for the same reason. That wasn’t the reason they had met today - Theo made it absolutely clear that he was taken - but Avi had sifted through mutual contacts to get his number a while back and said he just wanted to unload on someone for a while, and Theo obliged, because the guy had issues, and with Theo’s life as it was right now, that was saying something. 

Avi shared a plastic container of chocolate candies with round sprinkles on them. “They’re pareve. You know what pareve means?”

“No.”

“No meat, no dairy. Just pareve. You can eat with either one. Good for desserts after a meat meal, you know, because we have to - “

“Keep them separate, yeah.” He knew just enough about keeping kosher to know he could never cook a meal that Avi would eat. 

“And wait 6 hours after meat before eating dairy. So, pareve.”

“Are eggs pareve? I don’t eat eggs.”

“Eggs are pareve, but there’s no eggs. It’s sugar and cocoa.”

“Thank you.” Theo took some to be polite; Avi was very considerate. They had bonded after that awful orgy over their shared difficulties getting a solid meal around town. When they first were introduced Theo just thought he was a hipster, because his Hasidic black frock coat and hat weren’t on. Or anything else.

“So,  _ nu _ , why are you dating this guy, who’s such a weirdo?”

“We’re not really  _ dating _ . It’s like, a level below dating.”

“What’s below dating? I went out with my wife twice before we got engaged. First to see that we didn’t hate each other on sight, the second time to talk wedding plans.”

_ And look how that turned out _ , Theo wanted to say, but that would be cruel. “Um, there’s friends with benefits, but we’re not really friends. My brother is his partner in a law firm. But we’re not  _ just _ fucking. Which would be fine; he is amazing at that. But - I like him. I like having him around. He drives me crazy but I want to be with someone.”

“You shouldn’t settle. Unless you want kids. And even then, you shouldn’t settle.”

Theo handed back the cigarette and popped one of the chocolates in his mouth. Not high quality, but still pretty good. “Yeah, I’m not that worried about that.” He couldn’t say everything he wanted to say about Matt - like that his boyfriend was a scary vigilante - so he changed the subject. “So what’s up?”

“Do you want to come to my son’s bar mitzvah?”

“Do I want to?”

“No. You’ll stand out. People will ask you if you’re Jewish and try to set you up. But I thought it would be nice to ask you, so you know, if the situation was better, I would want you to come. And with your  _ mamish _ weirdo boyfriend.”

The other thing Theo liked about Avi was he was kind of a sweetheart. “Which kid is this?”

“Baruch. My third. Two girls first,” Avi said. “I think my wife knows.”

“About me?”

“Knows knows,” he said. “She hasn’t said anything but she wants to know the password on my phone. In case of emergencies. If we divorce, she gets the kids. What kind of lawyer is your brother?”

“Defense attorney. But I could ask around.” 

“Won’t matter. The whole community will be behind her, the good wife. And no one wants their kids raised by a  _ feygelah _ . Do you know what a  _ feygelah _ is?”

“I think I got it from context.”

“We go to the  _ beit din _ , we go to the secular courts - it’ll come out the same. I know people who’ve done this, then gone to the Times about how bad it was for them. Their kids grew up hating them because they had to leave the community. They don’t speak to them anymore. I couldn’t do that.”

“Sucks, man. I mean, I know that doesn’t begin to cover it, but it fucking sucks. Is there anything I can do?”

“It’s nice that you asked, but no, I don’t think so. But you answered my calls, which was also nice. This guy you’re with - he isn’t going to get suspicious?”

“He has supernatural hearing,” Theo explained. “So if he is listening, he can tell how ridiculous he’s being for bothering to spy on us. My life is not that interesting.”

“Does he listen to you? I don’t mean spying. When you talk, does he listen?”

Avi was obviously posing it as a serious question, so Theo gave him a serious answer. “Yeah, he does.”

“It’s the most important thing in relationships. I’ve been through enough hopeless marriage counseling to pick that up. If this guy listens to you, if he cares about your life and your thoughts and your opinions, he’s a good guy for you. Maybe not forever, but as long as he does that. It’s so important to be listened to,” Avi explained. “Just listening - it helps. It helps a lot. When you listen to me, it really helps. It hurts to have no one to talk to.”

“I know that feeling.” Having been in the closet most of his life, Theo very much did. It was why he had agreed to meet with Avi even though the shop was open, and when he got back things would definitely be chaos. “Look, if there’s anything I can do for you, other than talk - let me know. If you need a place to crash or something. Or whatever. If you need a giant pork roast.”

“Are they as good as they say?”

Theo shrugged. “I gave them up pretty easily. I’d just about die for some KFC though.”

“There used to be a kosher KFC in Jerusalem, in the mall. It was  _ amazing _ ,” Avi said. “I think there was another one on Ben Yehuda but it wasn’t as good. Israelis don’t eat there. It’s all tourists.” He shook his finger at Theo. “You stay with this guy - as long as he listens to you. When he stops, dump him. Right in the Hudson.”

Theo laughed, then wondered if anyone had already done that to Matt.

  
  


“You’ve been smoking?” Matt asked that night, even though it had been hours, and Theo used Listerine. And they hadn’t even kissed. Matt was trying not to make a face, but he was making a face.

“Yeah, I have a friend who likes to smoke, but he likes to share,” Theo said. “Do you know any good divorce lawyers who speak Yiddish?”

“There were a couple guys in law school who spoke Yiddish. Or maybe Hebrew. Foggy was more social than I was. Your friend’s religious?”

“Yeah, and he has eight kids.”

“Oof. He doesn’t happen to be a multimillionaire, does he? Because that helps. It’s one of many reasons why I avoid family law like the plague.”

“I don’t know if he would even do it,” Theo said. “So, you still want to learn how to cut up cows?” See, he could make sudden conversation directional changes, too.

“Yes. Just the elementary things.”

“How to cut into muscle and how to cut into fat and around bone and all that?”

Matt nodded.

“Promise me you’re not going to use this knowledge to cut someone.”

“No.”

“Promise me.”

“Only as a last resort. To save someone’s life. And not to kill the attacker,” Matt said. “Daredevil isn’t going to start carrying knives.”

“Or meathooks or saws.”

“I promise.”

“Or scissors. Even the safety kind.”

“I’ve been stabbed with safety scissors,” Matt said, because of course he had. “I promise.”

“Then let me make some calls, and we’ll go on a trip. But I still want a nice meal out of this. Somewhere with a liquor license.”

Matt nodded. “Done.”

They ended up at a falafel place that sold beer, but Theo agreed to it, so that was on him.

  
  


Theo learned from Foggy that Matt had never been north of Manhattan. What Foggy did not tell him - possibly because he didn’t know - was that Matt got carsick, and Theo had to hold his head to keep him from accidentally hitting the seats on the Zipcar. “Dude. You can’t possibly have anything left in your stomach.”

Matt leaned his head against the door and said, “Just let me heave.”

“You want to go home? We can cancel.”

“I would prefer a long break from ever being in this car again.”

Not that Theo wasn’t upset by the level of distress Matt was in. And this guy could handle being stabbed. “We’re close. Is this a superpowers thing?”

“I think most of it is blindness. Have you ever ridden in the car with your eyes closed?”

“Now’s definitely not the time to try it.”

“It doesn’t help that I don’t know where I am,” Matt admitted. “Cars make an awful sound when they’re going fast, and it’s not bouncing off buildings like I’m used to.”

“What’s the word for that?”

“Echolocation,” Matt said. “Yes, it’s the thing that bats do.”

“I wasn’t going to ask.”

“But you were thinking it.” Matt managed a weak smile. “I think I’ll be better when I know we’re done.”

Twenty minutes later, Matt looked less green but frowned when he got out of the car. “This place smells like shit!”

“Yeah, what do you think cow pies are made of?” Theo couldn’t help but be a little amused. “Come on, man. It’s nature. It’s where we’re from. We’re all just animals anyway. And you don’t like chemical scents. You almost pass out if someone’s wearing too much perfume.”

Matt held his scarf up over his nose as he unfolded his cane. “But I’m used to processing it. This is just - “

“Tons of fresh manure, yeah.” Because there were large cows on the farm. “Trust me, it’s worse in the summer. You want to pet an animal?”

Matt shook his head fiercely as Bill came out. He owned the farm - or, he was the representative of the family that owned the farm and adjoining slaughterhouse, or corporation that owned the farm, Theo was never sure - and he was probably the same age as his dad. They rarely saw each other in person, doing the orders over the phone, but they talked about getting together more often than that. “Theo!” He hugged him with a hard slap on the back. “How’re you doin’? How’s Ed?”

“Pop is fine. Decorating his condo in Florida, though I think Mom is doing most of the work.”

“Yeah, he sends me photos. So, you running the place now?”

“He stills owns it, but yeah, basically.”

“You, up here to train new help?” He gestured to Matt.

“Uh, no. Actually,” Theo sucked in his breath, preparing himself for the worst, “Matt is my boyfriend.”

“Oh.” Bill took a moment to process that. “Nice to meet you, Matt.” He held out his hand, but Matt couldn’t see it, so he quickly put it away. “I didn’t know.”

“I wasn’t telling people. Until recently,” Theo said. “Matt is also my partner in my brother’s firm, if you need a lawyer.”

Now Matt held out  _ his _ hand in the general direction of Bill. “Matt Murdock. Of Nelson and Murdock.”

“Bill Stevenson, nice to meet you.” Bill’s cheery air had completely returned, to Theo’s great relief. Man, he should have come out years ago. “You ever been to a slaughterhouse, Matt?”

“Actually, I’ve never been to a farm. I think I’m what you would call a city boy.”

“You want to pet a cow? I won’t make you kill it.” Bill was probably only half-joking. “But we gotta do it soon, so Theodore here has time to pass clean out and get back up again to get you home.”

“I’ll be fine,” Matt assured him with a smile. “I just figured I might not have such a good opportunity to learn about meats. Now that I share an office with a butcher shop, I’m a little more interested.”

“Thank G-d there’s still young people eating red meat!” Bill said. “My daughter’s a vegetarian. Doesn’t even like to see the stuff. Gets all uppity about it. Bad for the environment, like we can all live on quinoa. Isn’t that destroying the Guatemalan economy?”

“Something like that, yeah,” Theo said. It was why he rarely ate it. Also, it didn’t taste very good. 

“Let’s get you boys inside, where you can warm up before we go into the fridge,” Bill said, and provided a running explanation of the farm for Matt. “We don’t live on-site anymore. I’m here on the weekdays, and we’ve got a guy for the weekends.” He served them tea, and Matt passed on the offer of raw milk, even though he was assured that it was perfectly safe. 

“I don’t think that you want to bring that in here,” Bill said. “Sorry, I’m pointing to your cane. We’re not wading through blood or anything, but I don’t know what germs its bringing in and what germs it will get on it, if you can manage.” 

“I can manage.” Matt took Theo’s arm, just above the elbow, like he did when Foggy was guiding him. 

They were given coats, safety glasses, plastic gloves, and shoe covers to put on. The processing room was kept refrigerated and incredibly clean; all of the cooling systems made most of the noise.

“Now Matt - normally we use gloves, but if you wash your hands, and maybe Theo agrees to take most of this meat off my hands, you can touch it. You can handle a little gore, right?”

“My dad was a boxer. I used to stitch him up before I lost my sight,” Matt said. 

“You’ll be fine. Skin’s gone already, doesn’t feel much like an animal. Doesn’t look like one, either.”

Theo thought the full cow hanging from a hook looked plenty like an animal, but he was numb to it. He just didn’t like being reminded of it so directly. He was definitely a bit less interested when Bill - with Matt’s permission - guided Matt’s hands around the head of the cow, which still had teeth, and in the sockets where the eyes used to be. 

“We sell the eyes to a speciality restaurant. They don’t even appear on the normal menu. It’s not illegal or anything - they just don’t want people stumbling on it and losing their appetite,” Bill explained. “There’s this ethical thing now - eating every part of the cow. Some butchers want to say they do that, use all of it, but they usually don’t. Don’t have the stomach for it. But some cultures can’t afford to waste calories. Whereas Theo here would just have the cows skipping through the fields, riding on rainbows and making flower crowns or something.”

“I didn’t say  _ anything _ ,” Theo insisted. 

“Because Ed Nelson doesn’t raise no hypocrites, that’s why. Plants feel pain.” Bill said to Matt, “I’ve been busting his balls for years but he keeps his mouth shut because he’s more fuckin’ polite than my kids, I’ll tell you that.”

“He’s a very nice person.”

“Don’t know how he’s Eddie’s kid,” Bill said. “Theo, grab the hook, will you? This is gonna be fun. Never done this by feel before.”

He showed Matt the lines of fat and muscle, and how to tell them apart, and where to cut so it would slice easily, even if he needed an electric saw to do it. Matt learned how to remove a nerve and Theo thought,  _ Dear G-d help me if he uses this somehow _ .

“Now this is the blade bone,” Bill explained, guilding Matt’s hand between cuts, “you want to cut along this, because if you know where the joins meet, it’s an easier cut. Under the ribs, that’s going to be chuck - you like rib steak, Matt?”

“I haven’t had a chance to eat a lot of it,” Matt admitted. “A rib steak in New York is a little out of my price range.”

“Thought you said you were a lawyer!”

“I do a lot of pro bono work. I get paid in casseroles and pies.”

“Eddie makes an amazing rack of ribs - I think it’s a special. Theo, you know the one? It’s tangy.”

“I know all of them.”

“You take these, ribs, you go home and make your boy some ribs, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Maybe I want some eyeballs,” Matt said, grinning like a cat. 

Fuck, Theo basically had two alley cats in his life. And they both scratched.

Matt was kind enough not to ever compare the cuts of meat to human flesh, or the bones to human bones, in asking how they could break, even after Bill showed him how to use the hook to hold the side in place. But he was definitely thinking it. 

Theo was going straight to hell.

Bill drew the line at letting Matt use the knives or the electric saw, but he did explain their different sizes and uses. Theo didn’t think of what he cut into as living animal anymore - he was too detached from it - but Matt’s presence was helping remind him. 

“Do you usually get nauseous when you come up to the farm?” Matt asked later, when they were waiting for the car to warm up, the trunk and backseat loaded with fresh cuts of cow. 

“Normally I’m past it,” Theo said. “But I’m on to you.”

“Those ribs do sound good. As a culinary experience.”

Theo shook his head and opened the car door. “You’re lucky you’re so fucking hot.”

 

Theo ended up with plenty to sell and still be able to make the whole crew of Nelson and Murdock a fantastic, unusually fresh dinner.

“You got Matt to a farm?” Foggy said incredulously between bites. “No, forget it - you got Matt out of the city?”

“I wanted to learn about beef,” Matt said.

“And carsickness. We both learned a lot about that.” 

Foggy’s hands were full of ribs, so he nudged Matt with his elbow. “Did you get to pet the animals?”

“I didn’t ask. They smelled awful.”

“You’ve never been to a zoo?” Karen asked. “You don’t have an excuse for that. They have one in Central Park.”

“I went with my school,” Matt admitted. “It was when I had sight, so the smells were less intense.”

“Did the farm have one of those baby goats that they put a little sweater on?” Foggy asked. “Or was it like a depressing industrial place where the chickens aren’t allowed to sit down or see daylight?”

“It’s a free range farm, but we didn’t spend time outside checking all of the goats,” Theo said with a sigh. “You should go with me sometime. Pop made me watch a cow die. I don’t see why you got out of it.”

“Pop thought I was the sensitive one who couldn’t handle it. Clearly, he made a massive miscalculation. Or he didn’t, and had I gone with you, my cholesterol would be so much lower right now. Bill doesn’t need any legal work, does he? It doesn’t have to be a defense trial. We can get creative.”

“No, no, I think I’m going to die of meat poisoning,” Karen said. “Not poison poison - like alcohol poisoning, but meat.”

“Karen, it’s the Keto diet. Just wrap it in buttered bacon and it’s like eating a salad, that’s how good for you it is.” He turned to his brother. “Theo, seriously, we might need to find a new backroom to use an office or we all might die. Of too much delicious meat. But you have to knock out all three of us, because you can’t leave anyone left to sue you.”

“If people start dying because my food is too delicious? I’ll be the trendiest restaurant in Manhattan,” Theo said. “I should be so lucky.”

  
  


Daredevil didn’t abruptly start using knives - or if he did, it didn’t make the news - but Theo still felt a little bit guilty the next time Matt climbed in through his window (and without bothering to knock, as usual), still mostly in costume but carrying a black backpack with clubs or sticks or whatever crazy vigilantes carried around on the way to their boyfriends’ place. Also, with his mask freshly-removed, his hair was sticking up in all kinds of adorable angles that would be even better if they weren’t caused by sweat. And sometimes blood.

“You need a shower,” Theo told him. “I worry about you.”

“Yeah, everybody who knows me does. You should be more worried about the other guys.”

Matt was about to slip into the bathroom but Theo grabbed him by the wrist, which wasn’t hard to do from the bed. It was a very small apartment. “Promise me you’re being careful.”

“I thought you only wanted me to use my new meat-related abilities for good.”

“Protecting yourself  _ would _ be good.”

Matt leaned over and kissed him - and he really was soaked from hopefully just sweat. “Don’t worry. This is all just a long con for me to get a foothold in the restaurant industry.”

“You’re covered in scars.”

“And you’ve said on many occasions that it’s a very competitive industry, and restaurants are even worse.”

“Talk nice, and I’ll take you to a food expo at the Javitz Center, and you’ll see real warfare.” 

“I think we’ve established,” Matt said, leaning over him, “that I don’t have to  _ talk _ to get you to do what I want.”

Theo couldn’t fault him there.

 

The End


End file.
